New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is my least favorite holiday. it gets built up every year, and then no one makes plans, and it ends up being a last minute crappy party at someone's house that doesn't live up to even the least amount of hype. When I got an email from Kevin about this year's New Year's Eve I was skeptical. I thought it was going to be expensive and terrible, but he won me over with his description:

"Two years ago, in Wildwood, NJ on New Year's Eve, I went down a water slide at 3AM after a night of drinking and eating Wawa hoagies.

I never want to be doing anything but that again."

If that doesn't convince you to sign up, then I don't want to hang out with you.

(All of these pictures were stolen from Medina without her permission, but I'm sure she'll understand because she's Puerto Rican and probably steals things all the time.)

Nine of us split a 3 bedroom suite at the Montego Bay Resort in Wildwood, NJ. This was Josh and Christina's bedroom. There was another bedroom with a king sized bed and a third bedroom with two queen sized beds in it. I can't believe how cheap this suite was.

Mike, Kiefy, and CJ in the huge living room.

It was nice having a full kitchen, even though we had no intention of using anything but the fridge.

Dining room and the balcony. We made bets on who would pee/throw things off the balcony first, but I don't think anyone did. For the record, I had my money on Mort peeing.

Someone brought this awesome mini ping pong set which kept everyone entertained for much longer than it should have

Action shot of Josh

Kevin loves it

Alright, we're kind of sick of this now.

CJ loves the Wii

I guess this is the new Punch Out game that the kids are talking about? I don't know, I wasn't even there yet. And I'm old and lame.

Yeah! Now I'm here!

Josh and Medina, positioning for a picture.

This is actually just a cardboard cut out of Josh. The real Josh couldn't make it.

Medina and Mort. I found out this weekend that I am the sole reason for Mort not having a facebook account. He used to have one, but the comments I was leaving on his wall were too offensive and he was afraid people from his job would see it and fire him. I successfully put Mort's job in jeopardy and got him to delete his facebook account at the same time. My life is a success.

Medina and Kiefy, and a telephone from 1973

We had our work cut out for us, so we started early. I don't know why every person felt a need to bring an entire case of beer.

First beer of the night! (Well, for me at least)

Immediately after we opened them, Kevin was like, "We're walking to dinner in two minutes, so drink them fast."

We walked down to Owen's Pub, which was having a $2.50 cheeseburger special. This was the only time that eating vegetarian actually benefited me when we split the check at the end of the night, because my meal was much more than that and, after we all ate and drank our faces off, it was only like $15 a person!

Kevin's pumped as hell for cheap cheeseburgers!

Josh, Christina, Mike, Kevin, CJ, and Mort started ordering pitchers of Guinness. I refuse to drink Guinness from a pitcher unless I'm literally drinking it directly from the pitcher.

Medina, despite being married to Josh, hasn't had Guinness in years.

Couples that drink Guinness together stay together. Wait, that's not entirely true.

There was a lot of Guinness toasting going on throughout the night.

Our lame table (me, Kiefy, Glen, Steph, Jill, Indy) with a less enthusiastic toast.

I have to choose my words carefully in telling this next story. Jill started dating Indy a few weeks prior to this night. This was his first time meeting any of her friends from college. By the end of the night, they were no longer dating. I will end the story there, because I'm afraid he'll find me and kill me, but ask me in person if you want the entire story.

I'm fairly certain Kevin and CJ would never find me and kill me.

That's not even close to resembling a tree. Try harder next time, Owen's. On the way out we tried to order a round of shots for the road, but the bartender said, and I quote, "We don't have shot glasses." I'm pretty sure that was his polite way of refusing us service.

Kiefy piggy-backed to the hotel.

I think I may have crapped my pants during this picture.

Back at the suite we started playing the loudest game of Asshole I've ever played in my life. Good thing there were no other guests for us to bother staying in any of the other rooms because no one goes to the Jersey Shore in December.

I was the main reason it was the loudest game ever.

Kiefy and CJ were less than pleased with Kevin's suggestion to make it a game of "strip Asshole."

Everyone was trying to explain that when you have one card left and it's a 2 then you have to say, "Last card," and hold it out so someone can grab it from you. I couldn't have cared any less.

And neither could Medina.

Kiefy and I started playing on the same team.

I'm not sure if I was shuffling like that to hug Kiefy or put her in a headlock so I could choke her out.

Time to take a break from the card games.

CJ and Kevin, looking at CJ's rack

Mort's not looking so good and it's still early.

There is no way I can come up with a caption that will make this picture any better than it already is.

Jill, posing for a new Facebook profile picture.

Shortly after the ball dropped (which we didn't see because Kevin insisted on watching some idiot drive a car over a ramp or something) we all went down to the pool, which turned into all of us going into the hot tub, while drinking beer, next to underage strangers. Mort told me that he was standing in this picture because he was peeing in the hot tub. I don't know why that required him to stand up, but I believe him.

Three hours after this picture was taken, everyone else went up to the room because they're all light weights, while me, Kiefy, and Mike went down the water slide repeatedly for an hour.

Steph, Glen, Kevin, Mort, Josh, and me. How awesome is one girl and five guys in a hot tub? (answer: Not awesome at all)

alright now we're rounding it out a little more.

Much better ratio

Josh, Josh's chest hair, Medina

The rest of the night consisted of Kevin and Mort trying to convince the three 13 year old guys in the hot tub (who they only referred to as "The Jonas Brothers." Not like, "Hey, look we're in the pool with The Jonas Brothers!" It was more like, "Hey Jonas brothers, blah blah blah") to make out with the three 16 year old girls in the hot tub, me almost getting kicked out of the pool for going down the slide head first three consecutive times (despite being told by the lifeguard not to do it each individual time), and Kevin throwing up at approximately 12:01 before going to bed.

The next day we went downstairs to a diner nearby for breakfast. Hahahahaha, look how hurt Kevin looks.

Josh didn't get in the previous picture so he thought he should monopolize this one.

Kevin and Kiefy, for some insane reason, wanted to go in the ocean before we left. They handed me the camera, but I thought they just didn't want to get it wet. Apparently I was supposed to take pictures with it, which is why Kiefy's screaming at me while they're getting frostbite in their feet.

Whatever, how am I supposed to know that when someone hands me a camera they want me to take pictures?

Keep in mind, it was a high of 38 that day and everyone else was pissed that they had to wait because it was too cold to stand on the boardwalk, let alone go in the ocean.

Happy New Year!

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