Jim and Eric vs. The Vermonster

Jim and I have been talking about taking on the Vermonster at Ben and Jerry's for a long time. We each had a strong Ben and Jerry's addiction when we roomed together at Ramapo. I was up to a pint and a half in one sitting when I was in my prime, and I'm sure Jim was pretty close to the same. Whenever the topic has come up, it usually involved like 5 people eating the Vermonster. Never did we think that only two of us would try to take on the Mount Everest of ice cream. But since Kiefy and Meesh now work at Ben and Jerry's, their manager has been talking about having a contest to see how long it would take two people to eat one. Jim and I were volunteered as the "test subjects" to get a feel for how long it actually would take two people. We were more than happy to attempt it. After some internet research, we found pictures from different people's attempts at eating a Vermonster. All of them were groups of 4 to 6 large people. This didn't give me much confidence in our ability, but we were willing to give it a shot. Oh, and for those of you who don't know, here are the ingredients of a Vermonster:

20 scoops of ice cream (we chose coffee, vanilla, and chocolate)
10 scoops of chopped walnuts
4 ladles of hot fudge
4 bananas
3 chocolate chip cookies
2 scoops of 4 toppings (we chose rainbow sprinkles, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate crunchies, and M&Ms)
1 giant fudge brownie
whipped cream
1 large bucket

Make sure you also check Meesh's site for pictures.


Jill and Kiefy were already 3 discs deep into an all day nerd fest (watching all three extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies)


Kiefy, Jill, Kelly, Me, Jim. When we arrived, everyone behind the counter looked at me and Jim with a "are you guys serious? you're too skinny" look on their faces.


We only ate lunch in preparation for our late supper meal. Look how excited we are.


We decided on chocolate, vanilla, and coffee ice cream since they were the only ones without any crap already in them.


Kiefy got behind the counter and helped out a little, and then didn't make out with me.


The worst part is, by far, the brownie and cookies. They're so heavy and they soak up all the melted ice cream so you feel like vomiting after every bite.


Looking at these again is making me nauseous.


Am I really prepared for this? The answer is "no."


Kelly, Meesh, and Elyse were some of the spectators that came along for the night.


I think this is where our picture will go if we finish it...


This spoon was way too flimsy and small, so we opted for the long spoons.


Normally it costs $34, but we got it for free because we're so smooth.


At a combined 300 lbs., we started at exactly 7:00.


They also provided vomit buckets as a joke, but I was serious when I said I would need it.


Five minutes into it, and I was already in the zone.


Just look at me go. I'm running out of "look at me eat ice cream" captions.


Jim took it a little slower than I did, which I think was a good strategy. He started on the chocolate side, I started on the coffee side.


We're so focused. We were just staring at the bucket for the first 10 pictures that Jill took.


Ten minutes into it, and we both have a pretty significant dent. Both of us reached the bottom of the bucket at this point.


We started getting a little cocky. I predicted we would be done within an hour.


Kiefy and Jill didn't believe me.


Neither did Meesh and Kelly. But then again, they like to use things like "logic" when deciding how much ice cream two skinny kids can eat.


I didn't think I'd need to use the bathroom the whole time, except to maybe crap out the hamburger I had for lunch. At twelve minutes in, vomiting was the furthest thing from my mind.


I was so concentrated, I didn't have time to wipe the crap dripping from my mouth.


At this point, I couldn't taste anymore because my cheeks and tongue were frozen.


Jim, still going strong.


Do you like seafood? (right click and save to see me explain the digestive movements that I learned from watching that Japanese guy eat all the Nathan's hot dogs)


The long spoons were a good idea, but they still crapped up my hands with gooey Ben and Jerry's goodness.


Things got a little out of hand. Jill was the first victim of ice cream splatter.


At about the twenty minute mark, Chrizzle called me. I was still confident we would have no problem finishing.


Jim started to break once he took on the brownie and chocolate chip cookies.


As Elyse and Kelly came back from their coffee break, I started to feel it. My hands were shaking and everything looked as blurry as this picture.


But we pressed on, knowing that we were setting the pace for all that came after us.


Things started getting a little messy.


Children looked on in horror.


"Mommy, what are those two homeless men doing?"


This was the turning point for me. "Hey, it's mostly melted, why don't I try drinking it with a straw?" WORST IDEA EVER.


At the 45 minute mark, we were going really slowly. Jim was taking long breaks, and I was about to start as well.


I became pregnant with an ice cream baby. I will name him "Coffee."


I took a pee break, and realized I never even loosened my belt. So just took it off, and Meesh put it on my head as a Rambo-style rally headband.


This gave me my second wind, and I pressed on.


Jim had pretty much given up at this point.


What were we thinking? TWENTY. SCOOPS. OF ICE CREAM.


I got really, really cold, so I put my hat and coat back on.


After an hour and fifteen minutes, the spectators were getting bored. Kiefy would definitely rather be watching her nerd movies at this point.


Meesh was still into it though, and continued to encourage me (and show cleavage)


Finally, as a last resort, I began to chug the bucket. I tried this twice, and it actually was pretty effective.


And then I got really, really full.


The last few scoops that I ate, I wore my vomit bucket as a rally cap, but it didn't help.


I got really sleepy and delirious, so we decided to call it quits after about an hour and twenty five minutes.


We got so much further than I ever expected. It looks like there's not much left, but those dark spots are chunks of cookie and brownie, and they made me want to throw up just looking at them.


The only ones willing to finish it were Kiefy and Meesh. I think everyone else was getting sick just watching us.


The victorious four celebrate with our empty bucket.


On the drive home, me, Meesh, and JIm were stuck in the back. I really thought one of us would vomit.


I was so delirious and sleepy that I even agreed to go back to Kiefy's apartment to watch the final movie in the nerd trilogy (the extended version)

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